[The following is a story collaboration with my good friend Hero Smasher. We have been writing together since 1999. The opening paragraphs pertain to a grand story arch that will make no sense since every adventure had and will not be posted.]

The shocking news of Samantha Maxwell’s criminal activities and arrest flooded the Delta City news like a tidal wave. The story went international quickly and Maxwell Cosmetics stock plummeted like a stone. Samantha was forced to relinquish her majority shares while in prison. Without her money she was unable to buy her way out of prison. The broken woman soon became a shell of her former self. The amazing muscle mass she had deteriorated into flab and she became a bitter woman who was locked away in solitary confinement. Little Lauren watched as her mother slipped away into insanity and the seed of revenge was planted in Lauren’s young mind.

Lauren went on to be adopted by one of Samantha’s rich friends. She would be well taken care of and have the best of everything in her life. When Josephine read about Lauren’s fate in the papers she felt better. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt the little girl, but her mother had brought this all on herself. But in Lauren’s mind it was all Superwoman’s fault!

While the Maxwell story was unfolding a number of criminal organizations payed close attention to the person responsible for taking down the corporate villain….Superwoman! The Family was extremely upset that Poison had been captured and imprisoned. They planned on doubling their efforts to get their strangle hold on Delta City again. But it would take time since their number one Superheroine destroyer was defeated. Majick became a cult hero to the Goth community in Delta City. Though her magic was kept under wraps in prison through medication.

The International Criminal Enterprise (ICE) raised the reward on the defeat and capture of Delta City’s Superwoman from 5 million to 25 million dollars. Superwoman’s high profile take down painted a large target on her back. But which one of these super villains would be clever and brave enough to take out Superwoman?

[Delta City….3 months after Samantha Maxwell’s take down]

Jake was a loser. A real big time loser in everything. He drank heavily and was unkempt. He wore ripped blue jeans, dirty old sneakers and a black concert shirt. His hair was long and dirty looking. He was a wannabe heavy metal musician who excelled at playing air guitar. His life peaked in High School when he was considered a badass and a punk and scared the kids who would later become lawyers and doctors. Unfortunately he never changed and life passed him by. He had just become a father to a baby who his girlfriend named  “Joe”, but Jake decided he didn’t need this kind of hassle and ran out on his girlfriend and his new son. Jake was a total loser.

Today Jake found himself in the rare position of working. He was hired by a building management company to be a janitor. Today his job was to clean out the bottom of the multiple elevator shafts of the recently sold Maxwell Towers. Jake pushed his broom around in a lazy manner. It wasn’t long before he started daydreaming. His broom then became a guitar which he started playing. Singing the words to a horrible song he had written. Jake looked like an idiot, but in his mind he was playing to an arena full of fans. After a few minutes of this stupidity he noticed something gleaming in the corner of the shaft. He reached down and pushed some dirt away. He pulled out a crystal that had what looked like a strand of dark hair in it. Jake smiled since it was probably something he could sell at the pawn shop for some extra cash. He celebrated by sitting down and pulling a small bottle of whiskey from his pocket. He put the crystal in his pocket and began to drink. Soon Jake the loser fell fast asleep dreaming of playing guitar.

“JAKE!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!” The foreman screamed waking up Jake from his long nap. “You’ve been down here for 5 hours and you’ve gotten nothing done!” The foreman was outraged.

“Oh hey sorry boss I was just taking a break you know?” Jake explained.

“A break? There’s 8 shafts that need cleaning and you haven’t cleaned one! You’re drinking on the job and you’re sleeping! I’ve had it with you Jake…YOU’RE FIRED!”

Jake became enraged and got in the foreman’s face. “Hey screw you man! I don’t need this lousy job anyway! You wanna piece of Jake asshole? Let’s go!”

Jake took a swing at the foreman only to have his punch blocked. The foreman clocked Jake in the face and he went down hard with a bloody nose. The foreman stood over Jake the loser.

“You’re a LOSER Jake! You’re a BUM! You hear me? You aint never gonna do nothing worth a damn Jake! You’re a born loser! Now get the hell out of here You’re done!” Jake walked off humiliated.

Later that night he drank in his small dirty apartment. Watching TV he was viewing a news special on Superwoman. An in depth interview with Delta City’s defender, but all Jake could notice was Superwoman’s hot body. He was especially attracted to her sexy nylon painted legs. His pants became tight in the crotch as he began touching himself on the couch. “Oh man the things I would do to that Super bitch! Yeah! I’d give her every inch of The Jakester!” He had a major obsession with Superwoman, but Jake knew there was no chance in hell he could ever get a woman as gorgeous as Superwoman. The only women who would go near him are the ones he had to pay. But none of them were as hot as Superwoman. He did however stalk a sexy brunette for weeks until he finally grabbed her coming out of the gym to her car. He terrorized the woman in his van and made her pretend to be Superwoman. The woman was so traumatized she went catatonic. Much to the relief of Jake since he wouldn’t get caught.

He remembered the crystal and started  looking at it. “Maybe this thing will bring me some luck” He thought to himself. He was in need of money and working for a living wasn’t for him. He had been planning to rob a pawn shop which he had cased for months. He actually knew the guy who owned it because he was always pawning anything he found. After months of casing the place he knew exactly how to beat the alarm and get into the back door thru the alley. “Well, no better time than the present.” He thought to himself as he grabbed his keys and hopped into his black van with a fantasy scene airbrushed on the side. It depicted a sexy half naked woman holding up a sword riding a white tiger. Tacky to say the least.

Jake backed his tacky van into the alley and cut the alarm and phone lines. He drilled through the lock of the door and walked into the back of the pawn shop. He began filling large canvas bags with anything he could fit along with cash he found in the register. Jake was finally going to accomplish something. Or was he? Because he was such a loser he missed the wire to the back up battery for the alarm strobe on the roof….

Soaring high above Delta City was the Invincible Superwoman. Her dark hair flowing in the night air as she looked down patrolling for trouble. It was another quiet night, just as it has been since Samantha Maxwell went to prison. But out of the corner of her eye she noticed a red strobe lite flashing on top of a building in a disreputable part of town. She flew closer to investigate and noticed a black van backed up in the alley. She saw the phone wires cut and knew the place was being robbed. Superwoman landed in front of the van and walked around to check it out. The clicking of her heels on the cement were amplified in the alley as they echoed. She saw the fantasy scene airbrushed on the side of the van and rolled her eyes. She walked to the open door and saw Jake with his back turned filling up his bag with loot.

“Ahem, sir? can you give me directions to the nearest precinct since that’s where I’m taking you?” Superwoman said in a cool tone.

Jake swung around and saw the sexy Superwoman standing in the doorway…

“Bullshit! You picked a bad day to play dress up girlie!” Jake shouted as he pulled out a gun.

He opened fire on Superwoman and unloaded all six rounds at her.

Superwoman stood there unflinching while the bullets bounced off her perfect body. She had a quick flashback to the first time a crook opened fire on her. She remembered covering up and flinching as each bullet came at her. It was a natural reaction for a rookie superheroine. But now she was so used it. A smile cracked across her face….

Jake stood in awe. “Holy shit! shit! shit! shit!….it’s really you!…oh shit!…fuck shit fuck!” Jake stupidly threw his gun at her. She caught it in her hand and as if there was any doubt she was really Superwoman she crushed the gun in her hand and dropped it on the floor.

Jake threw his hands in the air and gave up immediately. He started checking out Superwoman’s body and was stunned at how much better she looked in person. Her pantyhosed legs sparkling in the dim light of the alley would have really turned Jake on if he wasn’t about to literally crap himself out of fear.

“Just turn around tough guy and put your hands behind your back.” Superwoman ordered.

Jake complied and started sobbing. “I’m just a guy down on his luck Superwoman. C’mon just give me a break….I’ll go clean I promise….” Jake could hear her heels clicking closer and closer towards him….

“Save it pal. Let me tell you why guys like you can’t change….” Superwoman began saying.

Jake felt Superwoman grab his wrists while he was listening to her. Then suddenly she let them go. Jake felt her hands on his back, but not with any force or authority. He then heard her begin to moan, unable to finish the sentence she was saying.

“Superwoman?” Jake asked in a fearful tone.

Jake looked to his right and noticed a large mirror. He could see that Superwoman was using his back to support her from falling over! She appeared to be in some kind of trouble! Like she was about to pass out!

“What the hell?” He thought to himself. The look of fear turned to confusion. After a few seconds of watching Superwoman unable to recover his confusion turned to confidence. He turned around and faced the now weakened Superwoman. He grabbed Superwoman’s wrists and really enjoyed how he got to check out her finely polished nails. He could tell Superwoman took good care of herself. Superwoman looked up at Jake weakly….

“..who..are you…working for…” Superwoman asked. It was inconceivable to her that a moron like Jake was able to mastermind a trap like this.
 
Jake threw Superwoman’s arms down and they limply hung at her sides. She was barely able to even stand up. The weakened Superwoman stood in front Jake the loser completely vulnerable…

“I ain’t workin’ for nobody bitch. I’m just lookin’ to get by….” Jake said as he slammed his fists hard onto the top of Superwoman’s shoulders…

Superwoman grunted in pain as her legs buckled under her. She fell onto her knees as Jake put his dirty boot on Superwoman’s forehead and pushed her onto her back. Superwoman lay spread out weakly trying to at least roll over to crawl away. Jake looked down at the helplessly sexy heroine then noticed the crystal in his pocket was glowing brightly. He pulled it out and Superwoman’s dark lined eyes opened wide in horror behind her sexy red mask.

Jake smiled. “Is this what’s doing this to you Superwoman?…yeah, I can tell it is.” Jake straddled Superwoman and put the crystal close to her face. He could see the fear in her eyes and it was turning him on like he had never been turned on before.

“Let me tell you what’s gonna happen here bitch. I’m gonna finish robbing this place then I’m putting all this loot in the van and I’m takin’ you with me.” Jake shoved the crystal into Superwoman’s mouth then stuffed a cloth in behind it. Then he found some duct tape and taped her sexy red lips shut. He continued to bind her hands behind her back with the tape. Jake couldn’t resist pulling off Superwoman’s boots to reveal the sexy shimmering nylon pantyhose covering her feet and ankles. He took pleasure in rolling the tape around her ankles as it stuck to the high quality hose keeping her once powerful legs bound and useless. But Jake surprisingly managed to control his urges and concentrated on putting Superwoman in his van.

Superwoman was in and out of consciousness as the crystal now in her mouth seemed to be taking more of a toll on her. The final insult came when Jake carelessly tossed his bags of loot in the van covering her in the very stolen property she was trying to protect just minutes ago. Jake got into the van and started it up. He looked into the back of the van…

“Hey Superwoman, my names Jake. People call me Jake the loser. But guess who’s the big  loser tonight? Ha!” Jake shouted with glee as he began to play air guitar like a fool and sing an ad lib song. “I just took out Super…super…superwomaaaaan! I’m gonna bang super…super…superwomaaaan!” As he drove away he began to think of the 25 million dollar reward he could get from ICE. Jake was finally going to accomplish something….HUGE!